This is XFM 104.9

Karl Pilkington - There was a story on the other day, when I was looking for monkey news, about a couple who couldn´t have any kids, right? There was something wrong with them but all they wanted was a kid and they got some dodgy e-mail adress where they could buy a baby online. Right? That was for someone who couldn´t have a kid and could buy it from three grant or something, right? So anyway, they got one, they got pics and that, brilliant. There's the money. They got the baby and everything, they were lovin' it. You know, playin' with him and stuff. As he got older, he got hairier. Turned out they'd been sold a chimp.

Ricky Gervais - You you maniac. You stupid manc twat. Don't talk shit! Don´t talk... ARE YOU.. ARE YOU MENTAL?! You stupid... He got hairier? They born hairy!! THEY DON'T BORN LIKE HUMANS AND DEVELOP HAIR, 'cause they go: 'oh, hold on, we better get the chimp stuff kickin' in now, 'cause we're in the jungle.' Oh, you are just the... the rubbish mad, innit? Mad, innit? Mad, innit?

O Rei... naldo

Sábado passado estava a dar na SIC uma entrevista ao Cristiano Ronaldo, uma que já tinha dado aí há uns tempos com o palhacito do Só Visto. Estava a dar de novo, pois ao que parece, ganhou uma merda qualquer. Adiante... vou só deixar aqui a bela passagem do Ronaldo, no momento exacto em que eu parei um bocadinho na SIC: "Eu meto uma meta na minha cabeça que é "meter a bola na baliza". Se eu meter a bola na baliza há 50% de hipóteses de golo. Vá, de golo não, mas há 50% de perigo." Só não é isto poesia pura porque não rima. "50% de perigo"... é que não cansa.